My Wishes: A Parent With A Special Needs Child

I wish that people, we special need parents interact with, know that we are not just mothers, and however selfish I may sound here, I wish we were given credit for who we are and not what kind of mothers we are… I wish that I and others like me are not judged for what our kids do or not do… That his eating habits are not because of lack of trying or his hyperactivity is not a sign of spoiled child or neglectful parents… That when having food in a restaurant if our child is watching video on phone, then that’s because we too want some time to enjoy the food and the ambiance and some time to just hold hands with our husbands and have a time to ourselves without tending to our son…

I wish that people were more understanding and wouldn’t compare him or his behavior with other kids even if its to give a support that even neurotypical kids behave same…

I wish other’s won’t trivialize or magnify the issues, pains, questions, and behaviors…

That they wouldn’t say how brave we are just because we are smiling, that we are living the way we want to and they will see the effort behind the smile and would understand what a mammoth task it is to just go with our days…

I wish that fellow moms won’t make inconsiderate remarks or raise an eyebrow at the mention of a parallel school or homeschooling…

I wish that friends won’t forget or feel awkward to ask how we are or to just include.. or simply to understand how tough it is for many of us to just pick up the phone and talk or to just go over for a visiting even when that’s what we want to do…

I wish that fellow special needs moms would understand that irrespective of diagnosis every child is different and that what worked for you may not work for many of us other moms, it doesn’t mean we are not trying your methods to overcome a problem… I wish you wouldn’t judge or breath a sigh of relief that even being in the same age group my child is seemingly lesser than yours… I wish that the waiting room at our therapists are not the round table conference of moms trying to dissect our children’s actions or lack thereof… I wish that we are able to talk about other things than just autism, we more so as we would know how much we would like to escape this reality even for mere moments…

I wish people wouldn’t talk about depression in a light way, that it’s not something to brush off.. that they will know that this is real. Very real. Even when it may not look like it.

I wish we are not easy to judge other mothers, other parents, autism, or depressions…

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